darrylayo: BECAUSE FEMINISM: How to deal with...

Saturday, July 2, 2011

BECAUSE FEMINISM: How to deal with being called out

I’m not sure if the below quote is yours or if I’m doing this wrong. I find it telling that these discussions pop up on Tumblr where true communication and discourse is nearly impossible.

But I disagree with the below quoted statement.

If you are taking it upon yourself to “call someone out,” then you are taking on a responsibility. It IS your job—it BECOMES your job to educate when you intentionally challenge someone on their behavior. And to expect them to change at ALL, yes, you are going to have to educate. Otherwise, you’re just throwing stones.

jaded16india:

16. Should you do all of these things, and decide to make a change in the way you do things (i.e. a different comment moderation policy etc) don’t just expect the person who called you out to educate you on how to do it. It’s not their job.

Also: Print this out. Laminate it. Stick it on your wall.

That is my statement and I stand by it. People who are calling out oppressive behaviour should not have to educate those who oppress them. I’m not saying that every person who ‘calls out’ isn’t willing to suggest ways to improve things, in fact most will, but sometimes people do not have the time or the spoons to do it. Also: your argument seems to suggest that those who exhibit oppressive behaviour should be able to just throw their hands up and say ‘fine, you fix it then.’ A good example of this is the fact that bloggers who point out cultural appropriation get endless questions about whether something can be considered appropriative - it is not their responsibility. They are not the ones who need to learn. The internet is right here, and Our Lady Google is ready and willing to give information to those who look for it.

Another example is a major shitstorm that recently erupted on a blog I follow because of a lack of appropriate comment moderation on a thread which was full of cissexist and trans*misogynistic comments. When the moderators were called out, some people said ‘fine, why don’t you moderate then?’ That’s not the point. Those who call out should not have the responsibility of being the standard bearer for every marginalised person out there.

If I see a call out I disagree with, I look it up myself and learn about what the person is saying before I open my mouth. Because my privilege should not be their problem.